5 Things Every Dog Mom Needs To Hear Right Now

As we round out 2020 and head into a new year, there are 5 important messages that I need every dog mom out there to hear from me. 

The guilt and shame in dog raising is very real and as I've been doing more coaching and less training, I have found that there are several things that keep coming to the surface. I want to clear the air and tell you what they are, right here and now

1. It's not about you

You know what I have been hearing a lot?

"It's my fault, I know but..." or "I know I should have... but..."

Let me set things straight right here and now. Your dog's behavior isn't your fault. You didn't cause it. Your dog is a dog first and that's how he will act.

When he chews up something he shouldn't, it's not because you didn't exercise him enough. It's because he put his energy into the fun act of chewing.

If he pees on the rug, it's not because you weren't paying attention. It's because he had to relieve himself and the door didn't magically open.

If he jumps on a visitor, it's not because you weren't there to hold him. It's because he was excited about the visitor.

Is there more learning to do? Absolutely. But is there a point in blaming yourself? NO. 

2. It's okay to be too tired

You know... when I was going from home to home training dogs, at the end of the day, I was WAY TOO TIRED to train my own dog. My job was to train dogs and I often didn't have the energy to train my own. My dog, Willow, has gotten way more training as my demo dog since I went virtual than she ever got before. Partly because she's a reactive dog who can't play demo among many other dogs and partly because... well... I just wanted to sit down at the end of the day.
It's a real problem. Life is busy, pandemic or not! It's okay to be too tired to intentionally work with your dog at the end of the day

So here's where I'll change that thought up a bit. If you are feeling too busy, too tired, too overwhelmed to work with your dog more often than not, there might be a disconnect. You might be looking at training as more of a job than it needs to be.
​
What are your biggest struggles with training? Where do you get stuck? Does it feel like "work" or do you find it to be fun?

3. Your third dog is as loved as your first dog

One pup... two pups... 3 pups... four.

How many dogs do you have? Do you ever feel guilty about not having as much time or energy to put into your second, third, or subsequent dogs?

Well, I'm here to let you know that your younger "fur-kids" are feeling just as loved as your first. Every dog has different experiences in life. Just like only children vs those with siblings - you think you could never love another child as much as your first but then you do.

I grew up as an only child and did I wish for siblings? Sure. Sometimes. My husband was the oldest of 3. Did he feel more or less loved than the others? No. (Although he might not tell them that!)

Life is good for your dogs, no matter what your situation and numbers look like.
Keep on loving them like you already are.
​
Really though, how many dogs do you have?

4. It's not too late

So you put off training ... and then put it off some more. So what? Are you ready to start now? Let me ask you...What was the last thing you learned? And how old are you? (Don't worry, that's rhetorical.)

But really. Don't tell me it's too late to change behavior because you can always learn something new that can be more enticing, more attention-grabbing, more rewarding than another choice. And if one behavior replaces another, voila. Like magic, you've taught an old dog a new trick!

If you think it's too late to teach or your dog is too old to learn, I will feel personally insulted. That's like telling me that I'm too old to learn anything new... and let me tell you, 2020 has been my year of LEARNING!

5. Your dog isn't doing it on purpose

Your dog isn't misbehaving to spite you. He's not mad at you and choosing to act out. He's doing it because he's a dog, he's emotional, and he's reacting like a dog should. 
The most useful thing you can do now is think about how you can replace the behavior or prevent it in the future or change your dog's emotional state

Which of these did you need to hear most?