Have you ever had a coworker’s stress rub off on you? Dogs are masters at picking up on emotions, and if you’re frazzled by holiday planning, they’ll mirror your stress.
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What to do: Manage your expectations for both yourself and your dog. The holidays don’t need to be picture-perfect; a calm environment is the best gift for everyone.

Previsit Exercise
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Before guests arrive, take your dog on a “sniffari.” Let them explore with their nose on a long walk, which is mentally enriching and tires them out in a calming way. It’s like letting a toddler roam a playground instead of running laps—they’ll be calmer and more satisfied afterward.

Limit Doorbells and Knocking

​Doorbells are the equivalent of someone shouting “Fire!” in a crowded room—they spike your dog’s arousal.
What to Do: Ask guests to text you upon arrival. Use technology like video doorbells or simply watch for visitors so you can reduce the triggers.

Use a Gate as a Buffer

​Think of a gate as your dog’s security checkpoint—it slows down interactions and gives everyone time to adjust. When guests arrive, a gate allows your dog to observe the situation from a safe distance before deciding to interact.

For example, if Aunt Susan arrives with her excitable toddler, the gate ensures your dog isn’t overwhelmed by immediate contact. It’s also helpful for preventing accidental escapes or over-enthusiastic greetings.

No "Candy" from strangers

​Imagine a shy dog stretching their neck like a giraffe to grab a treat from a stranger, only to retreat in fear once the food is gone. While well-meaning, luring nervous dogs with food can create conflict—they want the treat but aren’t ready to trust the person. For excitable dogs, hand-feeding from guests can encourage overly enthusiastic behavior, like jumping or crowding people.

What to Try Instead:
Treat-and-Retreat: For shy dogs, have guests toss treats away from them, letting the dog approach at their own pace.
Go Say Hi: Teach excitable dogs to briefly greet a guest, like touching their hand, and then return to you for a treat.
Bring a Gift: Ask guests to bring a toy or pre-stuffed Kong (or plant on outside for them to grab), which you can hand to your dog yourself.
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By avoiding direct feeding, you set your dog up for calmer, more positive interactions with guests.

Choosing the right vet is not just about medical expertise—it’s about finding someone who understands and prioritizes your dog's emotional well-being, especially if they’re prone to anxiety.

While vets and vet techs do their best with the resources and tools they have, they don’t always get the full picture or see what happens behind the scenes at home. That's why it’s so important to remain curious, empathetic, and respectful while advocating for your dog’s needs.

​Here are five essential questions to ask when selecting a vet for your anxious pet. These will help ensure that the clinic not only takes care of your dog’s physical health but also makes them feel comfortable and safe during every visit.

Keep reading...

Why it matters:
Cooperative Care, Fear Free™, and Low Stress Handling® techniques are specifically designed to reduce fear, anxiety, and stress in pets during vet visits. Vets trained in these methods focus on handling pets gently, using positive reinforcement, and minimizing discomfort. This makes visits less stressful for both you and your dog, and can significantly improve your dog’s perception of the vet clinic over time.

What to look for:
Seek out clinics where staff members are certified in Fear Free or Low-Stress Handling® techniques. These clinics may offer desensitization visits or allow dogs to be more actively involved in their care through cooperative techniques (such as teaching your dog to offer a paw for a blood draw). They also focus on minimizing stress through distraction, positive reinforcement, and environmental adjustments.

What to avoid:
Avoid clinics where fear or stress in pets is treated as an afterthought. If the staff seem rushed or use forceful restraint methods without considering alternative approaches, it may not be the best fit for an anxious dog. This could lead to more negative associations with vet visits, making it harder to help your dog feel comfortable in the future.

How to remain curious and empathetic:
Keep in mind that many vets and vet techs are doing their best with the tools they have. Fear Free certification is a relatively new concept, and not all professionals may be familiar with it yet. However, this doesn’t mean they don’t care about your dog’s emotional well-being. If your vet isn’t familiar with these methods, ask if they’re open to learning more. Share resources or offer to bring up cooperative care techniques, and approach the conversation with curiosity and empathy. After all, we’re all learning, and it can be a collaborative process.

Ever work with your dog, feel like you're making good momentum, and then get STUCK somewhere in the process? Me too. 

When your dog's training plan doesn’t seem to be working, it’s easy to feel frustrated or unsure about what to change. The EVAL Process is a great tool for analyzing what might be going wrong and where to adjust your approach. It focuses on four key areas: Experience, Value, Action, and Level. By taking a closer look at each of these areas, you can identify the source of the issue and find a path forward. 

Let's look at the 4 different ways you can EVAL where things are not working...

Before we jump in, I do want to stress the importance of having your Veterinarian on board and aware of any sudden behavior changes in your dog. More often than not, sudden changes are linked to underlying medical issues that show up in our dog's behavior before showing up through physical means. 
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That being said, assuming that your dog has had a Veterinary check-up and was cleared, sometimes the only way to determine whether to go down the road of further testing is by trying to shift the behavior plans to see if that brings further progress.

So let's take a look at the EVAL Process...

Experience refers to how much practice your dog has had performing certain behaviors and what they’ve learned from those experiences.

Every behavior your dog performs leads to some form of reinforcement, whether positive or negative, which adds or takes away from their "learning bank."

Think of this as a savings account: every time your dog successfully performs a behavior and receives a reward, you’re making a deposit into their learning bank. This increases the likelihood that they will perform the behavior again in the future.

On the other hand, if a behavior leads to the removal of something your dog values, such as freedom or playtime, you’re making a withdrawal.


Questions to Consider:

• How often is the behavior you want being reinforced with something valuable?
• How often does performing a behavior lead to the removal of a reward (like freedom, treats, or toys)?

Example: If your dog comes to you when called and you immediately put on a leash and end their playtime, they may begin to associate coming when called with the loss of freedom. To avoid this, try alternating outcomes—sometimes put the leash on, and other times, give them a treat and let them keep playing. This way, you're keeping the reward bank full.

Remember... The goal is to fill up your dog’s learning bank with positive experiences so that when you occasionally have to make a withdrawal (like leashing up after recall), your dog is still in the positive.

Next, you'll want to evaluate the Value of the reward you are using or reinforcing your dog with.

The value of a reward lies in your dog’s opinion, not yours. What you think should be motivating may not be valuable to your dog in that particular moment.

For example, you might assume that tossing a ball for your dog is rewarding, but what if your dog would rather chew on it or engage in a game of tug?

The value of a reward can also shift depending on the environment or the presence of distractions. What might work at home—like a piece of kibble—may not hold up against the excitement of the outdoors, where smells, sounds, and other distractions are competing for your dog’s attention.

Questions to consider:

• Is the reward you’re using valuable to your dog in that moment?
• How does the value of the reward compare to the level of distraction or the difficulty of the task?

Example: If you’re training your dog to fetch and they lose interest when you throw the ball, try playing tug with the ball first or letting them hold it and chew on it for a while. Pay attention to what your dog values in the moment, and use that as the reward to reinforce the behavior.
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Remember... Always ensure that the reward you’re offering is something your dog truly wants, especially when working in more challenging environments.

Action is a critical part of the EVAL method, and it refers to how quickly and CLEARLY you are taking ACTION with your dog.

If there is a delay between when your dog performs the behavior and when you mark or reward it, they might not connect the reward to the behavior you’re trying to reinforce. Worse, they could associate the reward with something else entirely.

Timing is everything when it comes to effective training. For example, if you’re teaching your dog to stay, and you call them to you before rewarding them, you’re likely reinforcing the recall, not the stay. To build a stronger “stay,” you need to reward your dog while they are staying—not after they've broken position.



Questions to Consider:

• Are you clearly marking the exact behavior you want to reinforce?
• Are you consistently rewarding the correct behavior immediately after it happens?

Example: If you want to reinforce your dog’s stay, you should go back to them while they’re still in position and give them a treat. This way, you’re rewarding the desired behavior before they have a chance to move.

Remember... The quicker and clearer you are with your reinforcement, the better your dog will understand which behaviors lead to rewards.

Finally, you'll want to look at the LEVEL.

​The level of difficulty plays a major role in whether your dog can successfully perform a behavior. Just like people, dogs can become overwhelmed if the task is too challenging or the environment too distracting. A dog who can walk nicely on a leash in the backyard may struggle to do the same on a busy trail filled with new smells and sounds.

It’s important to ensure that the level of the ask is appropriate for your dog’s current skills and emotional state. If your dog is stressed, anxious, or too excited, their ability to focus and perform learned behaviors will be diminished.



Questions to Consider:

• Is the difficulty level of the behavior appropriate for your dog in this environment?
• Are your expectations realistic given your dog’s emotional and physical state?

Example: If your dog is struggling to walk on a leash in a new environment, it may be time to step back and practice in a less challenging setting. Build up their skills gradually by increasing the level of distraction slowly, rather than jumping from a calm environment to a highly stimulating one.
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Remember... Work within your dog’s learning zone and gradually increase the difficulty as they build confidence and skill.

By evaluating your training through the EVAL Process—Experience, Value, Action, and Level—you can pinpoint where things might be going wrong and make the necessary adjustments. Whether it’s increasing the value of your rewards, improving your timing, or lowering the difficulty of the task, these small shifts can lead to big improvements.
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Reflection: Which part of the EVAL process do you and your dog struggle with the most? Share your experiences in the comments, or reach out if you need personalized help with troubleshooting your dog’s training.

For more in-depth guidance, check out the Miss Behavior Membership where you'll get virtual support during the teaching process. ​

When we think of Toy Dogs, many might picture petite, cuddly companions perfectly suited for an Instagram photo. However, these small dogs, known for their companionship and charm, carry a rich history and distinct traits that make them much more than just adorable pets.

Toy Dogs include those who were historically bred for the purpose of companionship and as lap dogs, based in ethology, not AKC or UKC standards. These include, but aren't limited to:
The Pekingese, Pomeranian, Pug, Chinese Crested, Cavalier King Charles, Papillon, Toy Poodle, Lhasa Apso, Tibetan Spaniel, Shih Tzu, and more.

​One of the fascinating aspects of Toy Dogs is their genetics. It's believed that these breeds carry 1-3 types of dwarfism mutations in their genes, which contribute to their small size—a trait that sets them apart from their larger ancestors. This genetic distinction has played a significant role in shaping their appearance and behavior.

In the modern world, Toy Dogs primarily serve as companions. Their small size makes them ideal lap warmers and snuggle buddies, providing their human counterparts with a comforting presence that triggers the release of oxytocin, the "love hormone."

​Despite their diminutive stature, Toy Dogs are known for their intuitive and engaging nature. They are curious, portable, and can be incredibly comforting, making them perfect companions for those seeking a close bond with their pet.
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However, with their strengths come challenges. Toy Dogs can be co-dependent, needy for attention, defensive, and wary of strangers. Their small size also makes them more fragile, requiring careful handling and a safe environment.

To ensure your Toy Dog thrives, it's crucial to focus on resilience conditioning.

This involves boosting their self-esteem, fostering independence, and providing adoration without coddling.

Predictability in their daily routine, combined with regular novelty, helps build their confidence. Equally important is teaching them alone-time skills, so they don't develop an unhealthy reliance on your constant presence.

Learn more by checking out my mini-course on Building Resilience in your Family Dog or by checking out Behavior Vet's Resilience Rainbow Framework

Toy Dogs need clear, consistent, and fair boundaries to feel secure.

Incorporating enrichment activities like puzzle games, sniff walks, agility, and social play can significantly enhance their quality of life.

​These activities not only keep them mentally stimulated but also help in nurturing their innate instincts, making them well-rounded pets.

Need more support trying to figure out where the issues are and what you can start doing about it? Check out the Virtual Miss Behavior Membership where you can learn more on-demand and get set up with private coaching, if you need one-on-one help! 

Love languages, a concept popularized by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book "The 5 Love Languages," refer to the different ways individuals express and experience love. According to Chapman, there are five primary love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Each person has a primary and sometimes secondary love language, which dictates how they prefer to give and receive love from others.
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These love languages provide valuable insights into understanding and strengthening relationships, as they emphasize the importance of expressing affection in ways that resonate most deeply with the other person/being.

While initially applied to human relationships, I believe the concept can also be applied to how we show love and affection in our relationships with our pups! Understanding this not only strengthens the bond between you but also helps maintain a healthy and happy relationship long term, something referred to as building social currency. 

In this post, I want to help you explore the same five Love Languages and how they may be spoken or received by your dog so you can determine which ones your dog values most.

Physical Touch, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Gifts. 

By understanding these, you can ensure a more fulfilling and rewarding relationship with your family pup.

Just like in people, or even more so, it's important to remember that dogs are very contextual. This means that while your dog may appreciate a specific type of reward or showing of affection in one context (such as indoors with low distraction and under low arousal), he may not see that same type of affection as rewarding in another context (outside, when distracted, or under higher arousal situations.). To give you a human example, my 9 year old son loves to cuddle with me at home and gives out all the free hugs but when out in public or when feeling social pressure by others, he may see a hug as more "punishing" or embarrassing. 

This can be the case with our dogs too. We may have dogs at home who love to cuddle but when under social pressure or distracted, they may not feel that physical touch is rewarding in that context.

Let's dig in and go through some examples:

Listen, above all else - the most important thing you can do for your dog is provide safety and security in your relationship and in their environment. This may mean doing all of the above anytime but more likely, it means picking and choosing based on context. The more you can tune in to your dog, the more you will understand their needs and put money in the relationship bank. Aim for more deposits than withdrawals and you'll be well on your way to great things with your pup.

And if you need more guidance on how to better your relationship, how to tweak your days so that you are putting more deposits in, how to build resilience, and work through problems, then I invite you to the Virtual Membership where we talk about all of that and much more! 

Which traits do you find most endearing and which are the hardest to live with?

To preparation for life's challenges: Just like people, dogs encounter various challenges throughout their lives, from changes in their environment to unexpected events. By be pro-active in resilience conditioning exercises, dogs can develop the necessary skills to cope with these challenges more effectively and with less acute or chronic stress.

To prepare for the unpredictability of life: Life is unpredictable, and dogs are often exposed to situations beyond their control, as much as we try to protect them and keep it from happening. Whether it's loud noises, unfamiliar environments, or sudden changes in routine, resilience conditioning helps dogs adapt to these unpredictable circumstances in a more general way. We can't prepare for everything so rather than feeling like we need to walk our dogs through conditioning to them to every little trigger they may encounter, we can create more flexibility and resilience in them to handle the unexpected. 

To minimization chronic stress: Chronic stress can have detrimental effects on a dog's physical and mental well-being. By proactively training for resilience, dogs learn to manage individual stressors more efficiently, reducing the likelihood of more chronic or long-term issues.

To achieve better mental health: Just as physical exercise is essential for a dog's physical health, resilience conditioning is crucial for their mental health. It strengthens their psychological resilience, enabling them to bounce back from thos eunexpected setbacks and learn how to complete their stress cycle.

Building trust: Pro-actively engaging in resilience conditioning activities, such as training exercises and proper socialization, fosters a strong bond of trust between dogs and their people. This serves as a foundation of social support during challenging times, further enhancing the dog's resilience.

As Dr Kathy Murphy and Bobbie Bhambree so eloquently outline in their Resilience Rainbow model, there are 7 domains of focus when conditioning resilience:

1. ​Physical and Mental Well-Being
   
2. Predictability
   
3. Safety & Security
   
4. Social Support
   
5. Decompression
   
6. Completing the Stress Cycle
   
7. Agency

Within each of those domains are games and skills that can be taught and focused on in order to condition resilience. Many skills actually live within multiple domains, which is a nice perk for those who don't have all day, every day to work on this with their dogs (insert winking face here). The good news is that no matter what age, breed, or level or resilience your dog is currently at, there is always room for improvement and growth. 

Wondering how resilient your dog is now?
Head over to take the 10 question quiz to give you insight on that very question! 

Join the brand new course where I break down a pre-recorded webinar into bite-sized pieces to digest and refer back to whenever you need to. That's a great place to start!